Mari menulis.

So.

I have been slowly formulating loose new year's resolution(s) this past week. Well... it's quite daunting to call it RESOLUTIONS, so I'm going to call them PLANS, instead. Yes. I am formulating new year's plans, as we speak. :)

One of 'em shall be to update this blog everyday. Another would be to cut down on my coffee intake to, let's just say... a cup every working day week? (I've been doing that for the past week actually! Bangga.)

Things have been going according to plan lately. Adry's getting with the program. Hooray. Sila tepuk tangan!

I've left CRUSH & joined BBDO/Proximity. :)

I've detoxed you outta my system. Close to completely. :D

I've been making ME, the most important person in my life. :)

And i actually LIKE my own company. Sumtimes even more than other people's. O_o.

***

My head's going sum place different right now. A.D.D sial. -_-. Gotta work on that. Ooh look sumthing shiiiiny!

My sanity.

...or the lack of it.

I lose the plot sometimes. And each time i lose it, it gets harder & harder to find. It scares me sometimes, how i seem to lose my mind these days. My mind. Neurons. Braincells. Whachamacallit.

Like the other day. I go through my normal 'grooming' ritual: Brush teeth. Wash face. Jump into shower. Towel off. Deo. Moisturizer. Under garments. Clothes. Proceed to make-up. Then hair. Wear watch. Accessories. Perfume. DONE.

But on SEVERAL separate occasions, i forget half-way. I'll be toweling off and can't remember if i've washed my face. *Freeze. Rack brains. Can't recall. Muka O_o* Then on another occasion, i'd be starting on my make-up and then realize i haven't moisturized. Or did i? Dah ke belum? OMG. I. CAN'T. REMEMBER. I feel panic bubbling from the inside. Not cause i'm a Vaintart, but because i feel like i'm going crazy. Insane. Que: Cypress Hill - "Insane in the membrane..."

***

Speaking of sanity. I DO get whiffs of it. Tastes of it. Flirty touches. They come fleetingly. I look for it when i feel i'm losing grip on things.

Family = ♥. :)

Last weekend was one of those instances:



My 2 year old niece, Shakira. Aku cair when i'm with her. On the way back from PD the other day, she curled up to me in the car & slept. *melts*



And oh how i love the sea.



Something about all that water. Reminds me that there's something greater than all of us. Our drama. The daily bullshit. It really doesn't matter.

***

~My 100th post~

Dear self-righteous prick,


PLEASE FUCK OFF & DIE.


✌.


Much love,
Witless speck of dust.



P/s: I hate you. :)

Sometimes...

...

.....

.......

Why am I still clinging on to this?

The past. The present. The doomed future.

It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this.

Borrowed words via http://typewriterblues.tumblr.com/

I Wrote This For You: The Handled With Care

"If you knew how much trouble the universe went to for us to be here, now, standing in front of each other, you'd know we're going to have to be careful.

Plankton and plants and canals, a hundred suns, a thousand sailing ships, ten thousand civilizations, a million, million, million first kisses from all our mothers and fathers.

We owe it to them, to be careful."


Borrowed words via:
I Wrote This For You: The Handled With Care

Shared via AddThis

WELCOME THE HUNGER

The Hun­ger to do something creative.

The Hun­ger to do something amazing.

The Hun­ger to change the world.

The Hun­ger to make a difference.

The Hun­ger to enjoy one’s work.

The Hun­ger to be able to look back and say, Yeah, cool, I did that.

The Hun­ger to make the most of this utterly brief blip of time Crea­tion has given us.

The Hun­ger to dream the good dreams.

The Hun­ger to have ama­zing peo­ple in our lives.

The Hun­ger to have the synap­ses con­ti­nually fired up on overdrive.

The Hun­ger to expe­rience beauty.

The Hun­ger to tell the truth.

The Hun­ger to be part of something big­ger than yourself.

The Hun­ger to have good sto­ries to tell.

The Hun­ger to stay the course, des­pite of the odds.

The Hun­ger to feel passion.

The Hun­ger to know and express Love.

The Hun­ger to know and express Joy.

The Hun­ger to chan­nel The Divine.

The Hun­ger to actually feel alive.

The Hun­ger will give you everything. And it will take from you, everything. It will cost you your life, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

But kno­wing this, of course, is what ulti­ma­tely sets you free.

~Hugh MacLeod (via gapingvoid.com)

Adry Dumpty.

"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown." ~Chuck Palahniuk

-Pic courtesy of iknowg.com-

It's official.

A little piece inside of me just died today.

All.

Over.

Again.

Sometimes I think I never really mend from anything.

THIS is the story of the Doomed.

...

....

.....

......

Here it comes...

"I WANNA BE GOOD FOR YOU GODDAMIT!!! AM I NOT ENOUGH? Am i NOT wife material? WAT THE EFF DUDE?!!"


*sigh*


Sorry for the Hurricane Katrina-ish emotional outburst. But like, i just can't tahan anymore y'know. -_-. I dun give a flying FUCK if you *points to the left* or YOU *points to the right* sees this and perasan I'm talking about you. KOrang semua sama je lah. Same bullshit, same drama, different cock. -_________-.


*Grr*


I wanna articulate this is an 'artsy-fartsy-fuck-me-lah-artsy-konon' kinda way. So u may ALSO have a crush on me (of the artsy kind. Pfft!)... but i can't. I wasn't wired to be berbunga.


You asked me once, wat was my GREATEST fear. I said, "1)If people realized that i had nuthing goin' on upstairs i.e. STUPID and 2)To be boring." But now... i think, one of my greatest fears... is to 'Not be enough for sumone'. I'm either TOO much or TOO little. Why can't i fucking swing and land sumwhere in the middle? It's like that STUPID flying-monkey-game that i used to play on ur Nintendo box Babe. The paragliding monkey one? Where i'm supposed to land the primate on the landing mark? Yea. That one! I feel like i can never land in the middle and score the 100 points.


Self-doubt is REALLY unattractive. Stopping this shit. Like, RITE NOW!


*Lifts head in defiance*