Lust. Captured on film.

Sorry to dissapoint.
I ain't posting up porn. HAHA.

Stumbled upon this pix again.
Made me smile (AND cringe) for a bit.

But above all. Made me remember.
How new and exciting things were back then.

How hot it was.
How completely NUTS we were.

;)







Good times Babe. Good times...


*Pix courtesy of shootbangbang.com

Hmm...

Nothing in particular.

Just zoning out at work rite now.

Wanted to post up sum pix frm a flurry of birthday celebrations since last month, but couldn't be arsed to do so.

Maybe tomorrow la...

It's funny. I've been sleeping alot on Sunday. But the more sleep i get, the more fucked-up i feel. O_o. Terbalik ok. Even after some wine last night i couldn't sleep properly. Woke up with weird dreams in my head. Dreamt of him and HIM. Think it's my guilt speaking out. Coz when I'm conscious...I can control it. Coz when I'm conscious, i reason with myself that there shouldn't even be guilt there in the first place! READ: Me iz not engaged anymore.

Maybe the guilt's towards ME. Hmm...I dunno.

Lemme zone out summore and maybe I'll figure it out.

I wonder if The Hills has new episodes online already.

It's always nice to drown out my thoughts in trashy American TV shows. ;)

Found: A post-it note. Beside the bed. On the side table.

Nopes.
It wasn't a dream.
I 'WAS' really here.
Last night and this morning.

;)

-A-

Me. Need. Sleep. -_-

Oh god. I'm SO brain-dead today. But it didn't hit me till after lunch.

Stayed up late last night with him. Spent the evening, drinking wine & martini, layan-ing hilarious Arab ads on Youtube, watching the latest eps of Heroes, chillaxin' and talking. We talked. And talked. AND talked. Till 5.30ish in the morning. O_o

I'm screwed coz i had to wake up in a couple of hours to get ready for work.

He can sleep in coz there's no classes. *Grrr*

I'm SO ready to go back and sleep rite now. Zombie-chic doesn't really suit me.

*BlUuuUEeEEeerGgHHHhhH*

Oh. That's a zombie sound, by the way. HAHA. Ok. I'll stop.

T_____T

ME.

Hot and bothered no more.

I'll see you later tonite.

;)

YOU.

I'm lookin' at ur profile picture.

Fuck i love that vein that runs down ur arm!

Have i ever told u that?

It's only 10ish in the morning right now, but u've got me all hot and bothered.

Damn.

Word of the day: RANDOM.

I'm reading a couple of random blogs rite now.

People I know but don't actually know (can ah like dat? HAHA).

We bump into each other at parties...we have mutual friends...we kinda dated the same guy (O_o)...someone was involved with someone else i know...this one's a close friend to someone i ADORE...yata yata yata.

It's all SO random!

Don't you wonder too? If someone out there's actually doing the exact same thing? Reading your blog...checking your Facebook pictures...silently trying to figure YOU out.

Amazing innit? ;)

How everything's connected. One minute you're surfing the net, and the next...you're reading someone's personal thoughts and what they had for lunch that day.

Was talking to a friend on MSN-IM a while back.

First thing he said was: "Adrenalin!".
And i was like, "Huh? Wa...".
Him: "That's wat comes to mind when i see ur name. Been sitting here for the past 5 minutes thinkin about how ur name sounds like adrenalin".
Me: -_-
Him: "Scary isn't it? While you were busy doing watever it is you were doing, somebody's been pondering about you."
Me: "STALKERRRRRR!!!"

*lol*

Insanity.

NOT an emo post/ Ham Sap Subliminal messages

Read back all my past blogs. Lately it's been nothing but emo..emo...EMO! -_-. My life is REALLY not that angst-y, i swear. Guess all beef and anger goes here, as opposed to me randomly exploding in people's face. But enuff of that, here's a post that is emo-free. *clapclap* ;-)

***

Here's my daily (work) ritual. Mondays- Fridays:

> Slaughter a chicken.
> Haha. Yea rite. Gila. Wat for i slaughter a chicken pagi-pagi?!
> Get ready. Blah-di-blah-di-blah. Get into the office.
> Plug laptop charger in. Turn laptop on.
> Make elixir of life #1 i.e coffee.
> Open office mail.
> Log into MSN msger.
> Check Hotmail account.
> Log on to...(wat else?) FaceBook!
> Read KinkyBlueFairy's blog.
> Depending on how rajin i am at this point, maybe even layan KennySia.com.
> Write.
> REach for elixor of life #2 i.e Ciggies.Smoke.
> Second cup of coffee.
> Continue work.
> Melt into oblivion as the day passes...

These are set regimens, every morning. I just realized that I've been doing this for the past 1 year! O_o.In THIS exact order. I always thought i wasn't much for routines but hey...guess we all are creatures of comfort. ;)

***

OMG OMG OMG. hahahhahaa. You have to watch this clip. It's fucking hilarious. I'm torn between being mortally horrified...or psychotically amused! Was just talking about subliminal messages with Susu last night ;). He was telling me about how there's an entire group, sumwhere online that dedicates themselves to finding sexual subliminal messages in all Disney movies. *LMAO*

Enjoy the pervertness of it all...

This is me. This is me not caring. See the difference?!!

5 months. That's how long ago we first met. That's how long we managed to enjoy each other. I'm surprised we even got this far. I think you were part of the Universe's integral plan to help me get out of an engagement that wasn't meant to be, and for that...i thank you. :)

This isn't an ode to you (yeah, knowing how fucking perasan you are...you'd think this was a shrine for you kan) but if, for some weird reason you ACTUALLY stumble upon and read what i write, then at least it'll help you understand what i feel/ think/ do.

Babe, you were a prick that day. You shouldn't have thrown my ciggies out the window (and ok fine, maybe i shouldn't have said, "FUCK.YOU!" quite so harshly either). But dude, you were laying on the unwanted sarcasm pretty fucking thick! I think, out of all the "Fuck you-s" and "Screw you-s" we ever said to one another (jokingly or otherwise), this particular one was probably your best deserved one. You're an idiot. You're an idiot for not understanding Malaysian culture/ rules/ norms, and an even BIGGER idiot for not respecting what i didn't wanna do. Those close to me would know what happened at this point but for the rest, trust me...he should have respected my wishes. I wasn't giving attitude...I gave courtesy. And if your foreign ass can't see that, then TOO. FUCKING. BAD!

So, watever. Great timing Babe. You got what you want. We got sick of each other and now you're free to chase pussy as you please. And CONGRATZ. I now, officially don't care anymore.

Exit: Stage left.

Oh god. I just read her blog. Just kinda stumbled on it, really. Never knew she was that deep. And it confirmed a lot of the things that i suspected. But instead of bitterness or anger (or even jealousy) i only felt moved. I think she's still in love with him. I could be wrong (u know how vague people are in blogs kan).

I don't want mess with this anymore la. Like, if she was bitchy and what not it would've been a lot easier. But she's sweet, and thoughtful and DEEEEP (did i mention deep??). And er, she's also very emo. I can't la.If anything, i don't wanna end up like that.

So, I'm making my exit. A graceful one...The years and the men have prepared me for this.

*Takes a bow*

EXIT: Stage left!