The past. The present. The doomed future.

It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this.

Borrowed words via http://typewriterblues.tumblr.com/

Adry Dumpty.

"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown." ~Chuck Palahniuk

-Pic courtesy of iknowg.com-

It's official.

A little piece inside of me just died today.

All.

Over.

Again.

Sometimes I think I never really mend from anything.

THIS is the story of the Doomed.

...

....

.....

......

Something's wrong. Something's VERY wrong...

*Grave face*

I don't know WHAT exactly's bothering me. But i dun feel at ease. Like, there's sumthing wrong. I came back from a meeting and all i feel is...empty. I'm having violent mood swings weyyyy and it's not fucking funny anymore! Btw...meeting was good. Client loved my copy direction. Yata yata yata. But, still...*SIGH*.

Maybe it's cuz my family hates me (And NO, I'm not being all drama about this). They went to sum sungai sumwhere for a BBQ and "forgot" to tell me. The WHOLE family ok! And no one bothered to invite me :'(. I only found out when i called my mum last Saturday to ask them out for dinner and they were all THERE already. FINE! If my family doesn't want me, then I. Don't. Want. Them!!! *Lifts chin up in determination* Am refusing to pick-up any of their calls. They should just consider themselves 2nd-daughter-less from now on.


Or maybe cuz I hate my housemate. He has a stick up his ass, I SWEAR! He gave me grief over water footmarks in the bathroom floor. It's the fucking bathroom la ok. People are bound to have footmarks on the fucking bathroom floor. Lain la kalau I'm a ghost and I float everywhere kan. Then, rest assured...you won't find footmarks anywhere. -_-. According to him, it's HIS house and he just wants it clean. DUDE. All i do is tip-toe around YOUR house and keep it clean (Up to the point i think twice before entering YOUR kitchen to cook me some eggs). GAAAAAAH! Thank GOD I'm moving out this weekend. I can't take ur OCD shit anymore. No one can la (10 bucks sez his gf is suffering in silence).

Or maybe it's my backache. It's starting to rear it's painful head again. Bitch needs to leave me alone. It's making me lose sleep (OR sleep in unnatural-not-of-this-Earth positions, just to ease the pain). Note to self: If my kids ever want to join gymnastics, just say "NO!", give them a tight slap and cartwheel off.


Or MAYBE...despite the fact that it's been half a year, and he's already married, and I'm dating people, AND we stopped talking...i STILL think of him. Okmovingon.

*Deep breaths*

God? If ur listening...I need me sum happiness. I know they don't sell the stuff in a bottle or a jar down here, but if u could just sprinkle sum on me from above...that would be GREAT, thanks! :D

-_-

This is me. This is me not caring. See the difference?!!

5 months. That's how long ago we first met. That's how long we managed to enjoy each other. I'm surprised we even got this far. I think you were part of the Universe's integral plan to help me get out of an engagement that wasn't meant to be, and for that...i thank you. :)

This isn't an ode to you (yeah, knowing how fucking perasan you are...you'd think this was a shrine for you kan) but if, for some weird reason you ACTUALLY stumble upon and read what i write, then at least it'll help you understand what i feel/ think/ do.

Babe, you were a prick that day. You shouldn't have thrown my ciggies out the window (and ok fine, maybe i shouldn't have said, "FUCK.YOU!" quite so harshly either). But dude, you were laying on the unwanted sarcasm pretty fucking thick! I think, out of all the "Fuck you-s" and "Screw you-s" we ever said to one another (jokingly or otherwise), this particular one was probably your best deserved one. You're an idiot. You're an idiot for not understanding Malaysian culture/ rules/ norms, and an even BIGGER idiot for not respecting what i didn't wanna do. Those close to me would know what happened at this point but for the rest, trust me...he should have respected my wishes. I wasn't giving attitude...I gave courtesy. And if your foreign ass can't see that, then TOO. FUCKING. BAD!

So, watever. Great timing Babe. You got what you want. We got sick of each other and now you're free to chase pussy as you please. And CONGRATZ. I now, officially don't care anymore.

Exit: Stage left.

Oh god. I just read her blog. Just kinda stumbled on it, really. Never knew she was that deep. And it confirmed a lot of the things that i suspected. But instead of bitterness or anger (or even jealousy) i only felt moved. I think she's still in love with him. I could be wrong (u know how vague people are in blogs kan).

I don't want mess with this anymore la. Like, if she was bitchy and what not it would've been a lot easier. But she's sweet, and thoughtful and DEEEEP (did i mention deep??). And er, she's also very emo. I can't la.If anything, i don't wanna end up like that.

So, I'm making my exit. A graceful one...The years and the men have prepared me for this.

*Takes a bow*

EXIT: Stage left!

I live in a town called 'CHAOS'

I haven't blogged in a while. Just couldn't be bothered. Too much shit's been happening and thought it'd be too fucking depressing to write it all down. And besides, he thinks it's a waste of time to blog. I beg to differ Babe.

*Fuck, everyone's leaving the office now -_-, so i gotta pack-up my shit and leave. Bluergh. I'll rant another time then. Toodles.*