My sanity.

...or the lack of it.

I lose the plot sometimes. And each time i lose it, it gets harder & harder to find. It scares me sometimes, how i seem to lose my mind these days. My mind. Neurons. Braincells. Whachamacallit.

Like the other day. I go through my normal 'grooming' ritual: Brush teeth. Wash face. Jump into shower. Towel off. Deo. Moisturizer. Under garments. Clothes. Proceed to make-up. Then hair. Wear watch. Accessories. Perfume. DONE.

But on SEVERAL separate occasions, i forget half-way. I'll be toweling off and can't remember if i've washed my face. *Freeze. Rack brains. Can't recall. Muka O_o* Then on another occasion, i'd be starting on my make-up and then realize i haven't moisturized. Or did i? Dah ke belum? OMG. I. CAN'T. REMEMBER. I feel panic bubbling from the inside. Not cause i'm a Vaintart, but because i feel like i'm going crazy. Insane. Que: Cypress Hill - "Insane in the membrane..."

***

Speaking of sanity. I DO get whiffs of it. Tastes of it. Flirty touches. They come fleetingly. I look for it when i feel i'm losing grip on things.

Family = ♥. :)

Last weekend was one of those instances:



My 2 year old niece, Shakira. Aku cair when i'm with her. On the way back from PD the other day, she curled up to me in the car & slept. *melts*



And oh how i love the sea.



Something about all that water. Reminds me that there's something greater than all of us. Our drama. The daily bullshit. It really doesn't matter.

***

Sanity : FOUND!

...and it was at the family home all along! It's true you know, what my mom said. "No wonder you're going crazy...all alone at your house over there. Come back home to your family!"

Was a blessing getting sick and what not. I got to spend 5 days in Cheras and spend time with the family. And the best thing of all? I felt a little saner after that too! Like, i found my center... *ZEEEEEEEEEEN*

Oh oh. I just found out. There's this stray cat rite, at home. And i just found out her name is... (you ready for this?)...AU-YONG!!! -__________-. Ni my brother punye keje la ni. Like, WTF rite. AU-FUCKING-YONG?!!!! He sez it's "Korean". HAHAHAHAAAA. I'm sure my dad had sumthing to do with this TOO! *Squints eyes in suspicion*

Irrelevant fact: One of my ex-gymnast teammate's name is Carolyn Au-Yong. Her dad's name was like, Au-Yong Mun Bong or sumthin. *Suppresses laughter/straight face*. Was HE the inspiration behind my cat's name? I shud ask my brother that kan. ;p

And OHMYGOD. My niece is getting soooooo clever. Like, smart-ass clever. If she wants sumthing rite, she doesn't automatically go, "Peh-liiiiz". She goes, "UT MEEEEEE" (Excuse me). With this 'eyes-closed-big-grin' look on her face. How can u say no to that?