Weird...

***

I went to a bar. Asked the owner where they would be and he (she? Can't remember) pointed to the back. So i went looking. And true enuff, they were there. In a backroom, sleeping-off a hangover, still in yesterday's clothes. "Barney? Ted? Wake up!", i said. And they did, hair all over the place. Looking dishelved but cute at the same time. "HEEEEEY", they croacked. Some kinda conversation ensued, but i can't remember...

Then i was in a room. It looked very homely. I remember feeling at ease, like I've been there a million times before. I sat down at the dining table. There were two other women there as well, my mom...and HIS mom. My mom was sitting opposite me and his mom was sitting next to me. I'm surprised i even remember what she looks like, considering I've only seen her in photographs. Even now, her face seems to stay vivid in my head.

"It's not going anywhere...", his mom said. I looked at her and then i looked at my mom. Sumthing gurgled inside. I felt outrage pushing out. How can she say that? I love him. And he loves ME. But instead of spewing obscenities, i calmly touched her arm and told her how i felt about him...and how i felt about us...and told her that I'm not taking him away from her. Then she cried. My mom was silent through all this.

I remember asking her not to cry, wiped the wetness off her cheeks, got up and left the room. On the way out, he bumped into me. "Your turn...", i said. Then he went in. A second after, my mom came out of the room, then my sister. Funny i don't remember her being in there in the first place. She told me that all his aunties were in there too. Weird. So i asked my mom and sister what they were doing out here? Shouldn't they be inside...discussing? "Tell me what happens. TELL. ME. WHAT. HAPPENS!", i said over and over again. I wanted to know. Go back inside and tell me what happens goddamit!

***

Then i woke up.

Last night's dream is STILL playing in my head. It's messing with my head a little today. I need to stop this shit. -_-. ASAP!

U know wat i think?

I think...I'm putting in waaay too much effort. And although i realize it, (and it irritates the HELL outta me when i do) i'll still go ahead and do it anyways. Wat is WRONG with me? -_-.

(Totally random note: I really need to clear out all this shit in my room. I'm on the bed typing this rite now and am looking DIRECTLY at a mountain of clothes and shopping bags in front of me. I need to fold all these clothes. ASAP!)

So yea...anyways. I'm not gonna try so hard anymore. It's a little tiring la.

Your move babe.

2 weeks...

...And still going STRONG! ;)

But wonder how I'll feel when it comes to 2 months?

Hmmm. Something to think about.

Pogo - Digitalism

This is how i start my mornings. ;D

NEVER fails to get me going.

And i love the fact that as i listen to it and briefly close my eyes...I'm transported back into a time when heady-lust and excitement made my days interesting.



Wat's YOUR morning anthem?

It's OFFICIAL!

This one's for u baby...

~ADAPTation~

There's sumthing u need to know bout me...

That i adapt.

Sumtimes too quickly and sumtimes not quick enuff.

Give me a week (or two) to mourn the loss of what we had, then u'll see...

That i get used to operating on solo-drive and I move on.

I get bored swimming in misery and start paddling my way out. And before u know it, I'm on dry land.

Thank u for being worried about me. It's both sweet AND insulting at the same time. ;)

But I'll be ok.

I'll always miss u like a mother fucker but seriously, I'm not UNhappy.

So allow me to go all Spanish Telenovela-ish on the world (and on ur ass occasionally) rite now, cuz after this, it'll die down. It always does.

But u know i luv u rite. ;) Cuz for wat it's worth, I was happy when i was with u... :D

Revelation hits you at the ODDEST times...

Found an old DVD at home and decided to watch it till i fell asleep. The most unlikely of movies, i found relief (and dare i say, even hope?) in a particular line:

"It's not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It's about the ride, for Christ's sake. There is no point in going through all this crap, if you are not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what... when you least expect something great might come along. Something better then you even planned for."

-Irving Feffer (Ben Stiller's character's dad), Along Came Polly.

It's good to be reminded that all's not lost... ;)

So go ahead, look for your own inspiration. You'd be surprised to find it, when you least expect it.

Guess it's not TOO bad.

Slept alone for the first time in ages last night O_o. Guess it wasn't TOO bad. But then again, the flu and cough medicine helped a little. Ok fiiine...ALOT! Took a few minutes to kick in but after that...i was out cold.

Considering it's a Sunday today, i still woke up early, like around 9am. Shit. Looked to ur side of the bed and u weren't there. There's no one there to snuggle up to anymore. No one to kiss me good morning and most importantly...there's no more, "C-lamat Pagi" in that fucked up but adorable Malay impersonation that u do.

Other than the fact that i slightly resemble a gold fish this morning, everything else is ok. I was anticipating more devastation this morning but as it turns out, I'm feeling ait. In fact, the strongest feeling i have rite now...is, HUNGER. ;p Seriously. I'm famished! Prolly the after-effects frm the meds i took last nite.

Anyhoo...he called us when he landed in Jeddah yesterday. Then it hit me, that he's 8-fucking-hours away!!! THAT'S the part that blows! That's he's not a phone call away. The knowledge that i can't just get in my car and go see him. That he can't just call me and make plans for the weekend. BLUERGH! This sux ass.

I'm going back to sleep.

Ahmed and I are goin out for sum retail therapy this afternoon. ;D

And then...there was nothing.

Babe's doing last minute packing rite now. I'm watching him. And SHIT. I hate how this feels.

I'm trying REALLY hard not to burst into tears. So, while he's packing...I'm just staring determinedly at the laptop screen. I'm not even sure what the fuck i'm looking at. -_-.

So far...so good. No tears. I'm keeping it that way. *Brave smile*