I. Just. CAN'T!

There's a TON of things to clear in the office, a TON of personal stuff to settle, friends that need favors and miscellaneous shit along the lines. And i just. Can't. Fucking. Focus. -_- I CAN'T!

As I'm sitting down at my place in the office, in front of the laptop, willing myself to focus and get in the zone so i can write, i just find my head filled with too many random thoughts. They just keep popping up. And incubating themselves there.

It's like annoying little flies that i just CAN'T swot away. They keep hovering...and buzzing around...refusing to go away. And then i get fidgety. And restless. Even going out to the office staircase to smoke doesn't help. I just brood in a corner, my mind a jumble of mess.

Was smoking yesterday, and my CD came out. One look at me and this came out of his mouth, "You look like you're in pain." And i guess i am lah. -_-

It's like, i look fine (Still cun. Still fashionable. *Bwuek*), but when in fact, I'm REALLY not. Like, i saw Poomela on Sunday @ Delicious and was telling her all that's been goin on in my life and shit. And she had this worried look on her face. That made me stop. She said that although i keep on repeating to her that, "I'm fine", she thinks I'm the complete opposite. (Thanks for the vote of confidence by the way Pammmm -_- haha.) But it's great that she's not baby-ing me through all this crap. I lav you Poomelaaa. I told you that already rite? ;p

She's right. I need to take care of myself. No more distractions (you know who you are. And am pretty sure you read my blog). I'm self-destructing, i swear. It's like, I've been computed to turn into a choreographed mess every now and then. I am only able to operate smoothly/ happily/ mess-free for a certain period of time, and then i set myself for detonation.

In 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1.